


You Scared Me

by littledumbme



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, EXO K - Freeform, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sad, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 11:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4664865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledumbme/pseuds/littledumbme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically Chen comes back after two months, and Baekhyun tries to hide how broken he's become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Scared Me

**Author's Note:**

> this was written back in 2015 and since then I've edited it to make it not as terrible. i wrote it when i was in a shit mental state, so it deals with anorexia and self harm as the tags mention.

Two months of grueling promotion in China, and non-stop going really took a tole on Jongdae. All his anxieties of the past month wash away however as he shoves the key into the lock and listens to to quiet click; just like always.

He steps into the apartment; the apartment he shares with his lover, expecting it to be the same way it was before he left. He toes off his shoes and trails his finger across the wall, searching for the light switch. His bags hit the floor the minute he takes in the room. It's of course the same apartment, but extremely clean. There aren't piles of papers covering the coffee table, the body pillows are nowhere to be found on the couch, the rug is actually square. All the dishes are done and put away, no blankets or sweaters huddled in a pile by the window. It's so different, and so bizarre.

"Baek?" Jongdae calls out, checking the time. It's only 7:00pm, he should still be awake.

Grabbing the handles, Jongdae pulls the bags down the hall towards his room. He notes the shower running as he passes the bathroom. Stumbling over his own feet, he lugs the bags into his room and collapses on his bed.

He must have dozed off because when he wakes up, he's covered in a blanket, his bags put away. Sunlight streams in through the slotted blinds, and Jongdae swings his legs out of bed. The apartment is unusually warm, and he strips off his shirt before leaving the room.

Quiet hums perk Jongdae's attention, and he quickens his pace. As soon as he sees Baekhyun, his world stops. He stops in his tracks and takes in the only thing he missed over the last two months; the love of his life. The way the sweatpants hang loosely from his hips, the way his deep chestnut hair bounces with every shake of his head as he hums. Jongdae runs to his, flinging his arms around Baekhyun's waist and pressing his chest against his back. He nuzzles at the shorter man's neck, and inhales deeply.

This. This is what he missed for two months. He never wants to be away from his lover that long again.

"Morning Dae." Baekhyun's rough morning voice chirps.

Jongdae begins to pepper kisses along Baekhyun's neck and up behind his ear. The shorter man shivers away and giggles. The giggle sounds like music to his ears.

With a bowl of rice balanced on his hands, Baekhyun easily slips out of Jongdae's grip and places the food on the table. Finally he faces Jongdae and a smile beams across his lips. He tries his best to smile back; but what he see's worries him. Baekhyun looked sick. Not just like a flu, but deathly. His cheekbones are sunken in, his eyes glassed over, and the bags under his eyes dark. When Jongdae left, he had a sparkle in his eye and colour in his cheeks.

"Eat, I'll be right back." Baekhyun says, giving him a quick side hug, and disappearing down the hall.

Minutes later, Baekhyun comes padding back into the kitchen just as Jongdae is getting up to put the dishes in the sink. He turns around, only to be engulfed in a hug. The thick fabric of Baekhyun's sweater itches against Jongdae's bare stomach, but he ignores it. He noses his way through Baekhyun's hair and presses a light kiss behind his ear.

"I missed you so god damn much," Baekhyun breaths out, inhaling deeply, "You're never leaving my side for that long again."

Jongdae presses another kiss behind Baekhyun's ear, and pulls away, placing his hands on Baekhyun's sunken in cheeks. He bites his lip, surveying the shorter man's face. His eyes, something is different. Baekhyun may be smiling, but his eyes aren't. His skin feels cold too, which is so different to Jongdae's burning hot summer skin. Trying to ignore the worry, he pecks Baekhyun's nose, earning him a giggle as Baekhyun backs away.

Pulling Baekhyun by the waist, he pulls him down and snuggles against him on the couch. It almost scares Jongdae how easily he can feel Baekhyun's ribs. He slips his hands underneath the thick cotton sweater and rubs his warm hands against the cold skin of Baekhyun's chest. The older hums with contentment and presses back against Jongdae, focused on the TV as he turns on a comedy show. Jongdae continues to let his hands roam under the sweater, slowly growing more anxious by the minute.

Before he left, Baekhyun had a stomach. He was not fat in any way, he was fit and healthy. Now, his tummy is sunken in, the bottom of his ribs sticking out, hips sharp as his sweatpants hang low. Jongdae rests his hands on Baekhyun's bony hips and nuzzles his neck. He can feel the bumps of his spine against his chest, and that scares him. Even with the thick sweater, he can count each vertebrae.

"Hey Baek?" He mutters against his neck, "Did you eat breakfast yet?"

"Mhm, I made myself some when I woke up."

"Why didn't you wait to eat with me?" Jongdae questions, blowing against his neck.

Minute pass and Jongdae soon realizes he's not going to get an answer. Frustrated, he pulls his hands away and sits up. He runs his hands through his hair and looks down to Baekhyun, who continues to stare at the tv.

"Let's go get pizza." He suggests, glancing over at the clock.

"You just ate."

"What about going swimming?" Jongdae suggests, "I bet the beaches are open since it's finally summer time."

"No thanks, I'd rather stay here and cuddle with you."

"Why are you wearing that sweater anyways?"

"Because I'm cold." Baekhyun shrugs, playing with the hem of the sleeves.

With a huff, Jongdae grips Baekhyun's bony wrist and hauls him up. The shorter man whines and sits back down on the couch. He avoids Jongdae's eyes, instead choosing to stare at the carpet.

"No, get up."

Baekhyun reluctantly stands up and wraps his arms around himself. He stares past Jongdae, his eyes hollow and empty of the sparkle.

"Sweater off now." Jongdae chokes, mentally preparing himself for all the possible outcomes.

Baekhyun looks to at him with shocked eyes, almost like Jongdae's just slapped him. A shiver rolls through Baekhyun, so visible that he shakes violently. The silence and Jongdae's stare break him. Baekhyun crumbles to the floor and covers his face as sobs break free from his chapped lips.

"Baek, no, please..." Jongdae gasps, dropping down to pull his lover against his chest. Baekhyun clings to him as he begins to shaking, choking out broken words and sobs. After a long while, he finally stops shaking and looks up at Jongdae.

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me. You were gone and I got we-e..." Baekhyun stutters, inhaling deeply, "I was weak and I broke."

"No, shh, I'm never going to hate you darling," Jongdae whispers, pressing their foreheads together, "I knew something was wrong and it scared me, but you're still alive and that's what matters."

It takes almost half an hour before Baekhyun is completely calm, he stays pressed against Jongdae, but his breathing is normal and he had long ago stopped the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

When Baekhyun finally decides to move, Jongdae's heart jumps into his throat. Baekhyun tugs off the thick sweater, revealing just how severe he was torturing himself. He's skin and bones, pink and white scars across litter his stomach and arms. It scares him how long some scars are, and Jongdae watches as tears begin to drip down Baekhyun's cheeks again. Scrambling to his feet, he pulls him into a hug, trying not to break down himself.

"You're going to be okay. I love you and I swear to you that we're going to get through this."


End file.
